Category Archives: Mind

Becoming Friends With Your Parents

gumby familyLearning to be friends with my parents is one of the most beneficial lessons I have learnt to date. After all, these 2 people probably know me better than anyone else. Who better to help you out when you’re down than those who are already well-versed in picking you up.

When I look around me, I see many adult children that maintain relationships with their parents more out of a sense of duty than out of any real interest in their personal lives. What a shame to miss out on a beautifully deep friendship. It seems that lots of people don’t readdress their relationship with their parents until they have children of their own. Why wait until then??

I am lucky enough to be friends with my mum and dad, friendships we have been fostering since my teenage years. Seeing the disparity between my peers’ situations and my own, I started thinking about what happened in the past to evoke our blossoming friendships.

What contributing factors got us from parent-child to friends?

1. Divorce / Hardship

As a child, your parents are so idealised they practically cease to be human. Mummy and Daddy know everything, they are unbreakable, they obviously know how the worlds works since they’re grown-ups. But when they are faced with serious hardships – from divorce to the death of a loved one – it tests their limits. They will break down and question the big stuff. They’re only human. Emotion, particularly grief and heartbreak, is the great equaliser. We all feel it, we all struggle with it – children and adults alike.

When I was 11, my parents divorced and I saw them experience intense emotions for the first time I could remember. They weren’t just my mum and dad anymore, they were real people with real emotions. Seeing how they experienced emotions just like I did shattered the illusion that they were on some other level. It surprised my 11-year-old self to find out that even adults didn’t always know what to do. Grown-ups needed to have a cry too sometimes.

I began to realise that we’re all just doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt. Sure, as you age you learn better coping mechanisms, you learn important life lessons and better understand how the world works. But there’s a certain equalising quality in knowing that even a 70-year-old man will experience the same heartbreak, grief and anger as I did as an 11-year-old girl. It becomes easier to build relationships with people of any age; most importantly, it get easier to establish a friendship with your parents when you realise age is but a number.

2. Infrequent Visits

This one is more for how my friendship with my father grew. He travels a lot for work and oftentimes we would go months without seeing each other. I missed him at times, but this infrequency made it so that when we did see one another we genuinely wanted to know the latest updates in our respective lives. It made me appreciate his company, not just as a father, but as a friend.

I believe this new discourse with my dad sophisticated my understanding of him as an individual person beyond his parental role in my life. It was paramount in bridging the gap between parent-child and equals. Many people don’t catch up with their parents in such a way until they leave home in early adulthood; we definitely got a head-start on it!

In recent years I have also been able to engage in a similar discourse with my mum as I’ve spent most of my time thousands of kilometres away from home. I feel that we’re now more able to advise each other; we can remain more objective as we’re not wrapped up in the other’s emotional turmoil, while maintaining subjectivity because we know each other so well.


3. Dating

The fact that my parents are and were dating and establishing new romantic connections around the same time as me gave us a lot of common ground. My mum and I especially are able to speak openly about dates, flirty texts, boyfriends and break-ups – just like any other girlfriend. Somehow, as much as we change over time and as different as we might be, love remains the same.

Friendship certainly thrives on shared stories, tears, hugs and experiences. Romantic loves may come and go but the bonds we formed through talking over matters of the heart will always endure.

Furthermore, I feel their words of wisdom about love are easier for me to accept and understand because I know that they’re currently navigating the same waters. Likewise, I feel able to share my advice with them.



Of course these are only my experiences. The roads we all take to reach these friendships will be different, but I think there are a few key markers on the way…

That is:

  • Understanding each other as human beings, not just parents/children.
  • Communication that accurately reflects your new understandings of one another.
  • Bonding over common experiences, lifestyles or hobbies.
  • Loving each other all along the way.


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Posted by on April 9, 2014 in Mind


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The Road From Self-Judgement to Self-Love

Recently I’ve had many discordant thoughts and feelings. I’ve been experiencing things I’d prefer not to. I’ve been thinking thoughts that I don’t want to be true; feeling emotions that I don’t want to believe.

Discord - imageconstructor /

Discord – imageconstructor /

Instead of accepting them, I have been beating myself up for letting them arise in the first place. Feeling guilty that they ever occurred and judging my own inner life as baseless, wrong, cruel, unfair, bad, confused. Telling myself over and over again, “I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t think like that.”

But I do.

Funnily enough, my self-judgement stems from an entirely positive source: love. Allow me to elaborate here. I truly love my friends, family and boyfriend, and I don’t want to hurt them. Sometimes I feel like my dissonant thoughts and emotions are inconsistent with who I am – who my loved ones know me as, who I know myself as. I suppose, I am afraid that my unwelcome thoughts and feelings will cause hurt or disappointment; ultimately lessening their love for me. So I berate myself for even conceiving of such thoughts before I can ever act on them.

And so the internal struggle continues. My unwanted thoughts and feelings continue to surface and I continue to fight them… Out of fear, admittedly.

At the end of the day I know this is silly. These people love me unconditionally, as I love them. I am the one imposing some perceived judgements upon myself. If the tables were turned, if a person whom I cherished told me of some difficult feelings they had experienced then I would not be disappointed in them. I would not love them any less. I may be confused or hurt at first, but I would not think any less of them for feeling the way they do.


Shouldn’t I treat myself with the same unconditional love?

Absolutely. I need to imagine my love for others and spin it around to face me. If I can love myself unconditionally there is no space left for judgement and disappointment, only understanding. When I love myself, my thoughts – both positive and negative – can flow past without being judged, clung to or used to beat myself up.

External problems are not solved by violence, but through loving communication and understanding. The same is true for internal conflict, but to an even greater extent. No one will ever know you as well as you can know yourself; moreover, you can never divorce, abandon or unfriend yourself. You can’t even get away for the weekend! It makes sense then, that the most open and loving relationship in your life should be the one with yourself.

One cannot stop their emotions from surfacing. One can only listen patiently, with love, and then make an honest, conscious decision about how to act on those feelings, if at all.



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Posted by on March 27, 2014 in Mind


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The God Sphere

NB: This is my first attempt at formalising this idea which helps form the foundation of my belief system. Please bear with me if it becomes convoluted!

“Truth is one, paths are many.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

What Is This “Truth”?

Religions seem to tell many different versions of the truth, so how can there be just one truth? Well, simply put, religion can be told but spirituality can only be experienced. Religious leaders can tell the truth as they see it, but they cannot project their individual experiences into the hearts and minds of their followers. These individuals need to experience the truth firsthand.

Spiritual experiences abound, although they’re described in different terms. The Christian will call it meeting God; the Muslim names him Allah; the Buddhist refers to it as Nirvana – a state of enlightenment; the Hindu tells of Brahman; the Taoist speaks of the eternal Tao; new agers may call it source.

Despite the different names, these supreme spiritual states or beings have much in common. They are greater than anything worldly, they encompass and – in so doing – supersede notions of duality, they are purely loving, they are light, they feel like home, they can be experienced but not accurately spoken of.

Certainly, there is some entity that religions (and other spiritual paths) attempt to define, describe and explain. This entity is characterised fairly consistently as ineffable. For example, the Judeo-Christian God says in the Bible, “I am that I am”. This kind of circular reasoning implies that God cannot be reduced to an explanation, He just is. Similarly, in Taoism it is asserted that “The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao”. I would suggest the reason for this ineffability is, in part, the paradoxical nature of a deity when put into language. After all, how can one put something inexplicable into words? We can only try to explain using the spiritual/religious vocabulary we know.

In other words, there are many different names for the same thing.

I was raised in a Christian home, though my beliefs are now far more spiritual than religious. However due to my spiritual/religious vocabulary, I call it… The God Sphere.

The God Sphere

The God Sphere is a theoretical representation of something which I experience clearly within. It is something of which I am certain. There are several common characteristics that describe supreme spiritual experiences across all spiritual paths I have studied. Words are not enough, but the best I can do is use these common threads to describe The God Sphere (although I would love to expand on this definition later). The God Sphere is:

  • Infinite
  • Ineffable
  • Benevolent
  • Compassionate
  • True
  • Sacred
A draft image of how the God Sphere may be represented.

A draft image of how the God Sphere may be represented.

The God Sphere is a name for the state/entity which every faith attempts to explain. First, imagine the God Sphere as a large sphere in empty space. Then, imagine all spiritual paths as smaller spheres, each overlapping the God Sphere. Some are more closely connected to the divine – in these, the sphere only sticks out a little from the God Sphere. In other cases, doctrine has become distorted and fundamentalist behaviour is not God-like – these spheres will have larger areas outside of the God Sphere.

In cases where the religious spheres have similarities with each other, they will overlap each other as well. For example, Islam and Christianity have many similarities – including a belief in Jesus and the second coming, notions of heaven and hell, one creator god and belief in angels and demons. As such, the Islam sphere and the Christianity sphere would overlap each other in addition to overlapping The God Sphere (like a 3-dimensional venn diagram).

Apart from religious and spiritual spheres, there are also activity and behavioural spheres. For example, there would be a meditation sphere that overlaps many religious/spiritual spheres, but which also lies outside of any religion. After all, there are atheists who practice meditation as a way of regenerating themselves. Or consider a compassion sphere for all compassionate behaviour (regardless of belief system) which would overlap all religions but also lie outside religious spheres. While the atheist faction likely wouldn’t accept my representation, they still fit within it. There exists a sphere for any group with a deep, true connection to something greater than themselves.

Each sphere is composed of souls who take a particular path. The number of souls on a particular path determines the relative size of the sphere. For example, the Christianity sphere would be larger than the Advaita Vedanta sphere. Of course this is just an arbitrary representation, but I find it helpful in understanding others’ journeys. It can also explain why people feel something like a gravitational pull towards the bigger schools of thought.

How does all this explain away the different versions of the truth? How can all religions be right? Easily, because every different sphere is looking at the God Sphere from a different perspective. My boyfriend summed it up well with this analogy (though I’m paraphrasing here):

Imagine I were looking at the back of a church and told you the door was red, the columns were magnificent and the building was beautiful; meanwhile you were looking at the front of the same church and told me the door was blue, the windows were works of art and the building was beautiful. We are saying different things but we’re both telling the truth, we are just looking at different aspects of the same structure. Moreover, we both agree on the beauty of the church.

It is the same with the God Sphere. It is not the case that one religion is wrong and another is right. Rather, each religious/spiritual/behavioural sphere has a different view of the God Sphere from where they stand. We all look through a different lens – a lens shaped by our personal experiences, cultures, locations and beliefs. At the very least, it is far more productive to focus on the sameness when it comes to divinity (akin to the church’s beauty in the analogy) than to bicker about the differences; even better, we could go over and look first-hand from another sphere’s perspective.

What’s Outside The God Sphere?

The best explanation for what lies outside the God Sphere is the concept of maya as found in Advaita Vedanta – a Hindu philosophy. “Māyā is the limited, purely physical and mental reality in which our everyday consciousness has become entangled. Māyā is held to be an illusion, a veiling of the true, unitary Self…” [definition from wikipedia]. For these purposes, “the true, unitary Self” can be translated as the God Sphere. Maya is all the physical stuff and the mundane, egocentric thoughts we all have – this is what exists outside the God Sphere.

Examples of being outside the God Sphere are: living apart from anything divine; acts of evil; hurting others, our world and ourselves; even just being selfish, materialistic, superficial or judgmental. Almost all of us live outside of the God Sphere at least some of the time. I believe most souls hover around the edges of the God Sphere, partially inside and partially outside. These ratios change depending on your life’s circumstances. After all, we do live in the world so we can hardly rid ourselves of all worldly thoughts, activities, beliefs and behaviours. Some of these are necessary to function in human society.

Souls Within The God Sphere

However there are people who fully reside within the God Sphere, although they had to devote many years and much practice to reach this place. These people are what we call enlightened – yogis, buddhas, brahmans, shamans, and the like. They embody qualities of the God Sphere more consistently than those of us who move in and out of the sacred space. Such individuals are commonly described as positive, open, awake, seeing beyond illusions, intuitive, compassionate, wise and pure.


Souls Outside The God Sphere

Likewise, there are people who reside mostly outside of the God Sphere. For instance, psychopathic murderers with no remorse, no feelings, lack pure thoughts and good intentions have strayed far from the God Sphere.


Westboro Church members

I briefly mentioned fundamentalist groups that stem from divine religious spheres, but now exist outside of the sphere. The perfect example of this is the Westboro Baptist Church – who use God to hate and condemn homosexuals, other religions, political leaders, celebrities and just about anyone that isn’t them. While their group has it’s origins in Christianity, it has so distorted the benevolent divinity that it now lies well outside the God Sphere. In a visual representation you may see the Westboro Baptist Church as a small sphere off to the edge of the Christianity sphere. That said, even these people show real love and compassion to their own family (credit where credit is due), so their souls would still overlap the God Sphere at some places.

The God Sphere As Multi-Dimensional & Infinite

Lastly, I want to talk more about the nature of the God Sphere itself. I just used spheres because circles were too simple to capture this idea and I can’t conceive well of higher dimensional representations. While it is illustrated as a sphere, it is actually fractal in nature, continuing inwards infinitely – growing lighter, more benevolent, more pure and more intense the further you go. While some of these states can be reached through spiritual practices, I think many are inaccessible from a human standpoint. Although, that’s a whole other topic…

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Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Mind


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When You’re 23

girlgiftI recently turned 23 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit, I thought to myself, I am a proper adult now. And my life is nothing like I’d pictured it. I’m sure any readers older than me are thinking something along the lines of “23, pfft you’re still a baby!” but, well, it’s the oldest I have ever been.

Feeling Twenty-Two -Three

When my mum was 23 she got married to my dad; kids were on the cards. As a little girl, I naturally assumed that I too would marry when I was 23. I never would have thought that I still believed that. Funnily enough, though, when my 23rd birthday rolled around and I wasn’t married… A strange kind of disappointment tore through me. I don’t even feel ready for marriage, but apparently somewhere deep inside me still resides the little girl who wanted to be just like her mother.

When my mum was 23 she was a pre-primary teacher, as was her mother before her. Thirty years later and she’s still a pre-primary teacher. While I haven’t wanted to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, I did think I would find my career path by 23. I know times have changed. I’ve heard all the career talks about how my generation will change jobs more than ever before. I knew the facts but I somehow didn’t think they applied to me. I knew what I wanted out of life – or at least I thought I did.

Instead, at 23 years old… I am unemployed overseas. My hopes of working as a writer have evolved into unpaid freelancing and blogging. I need a back-up plan but I don’t know what to do. Despite having a Bachelor’s degree, when I return home penniless I will likely wind up in a job that doesn’t require high school graduation. I can’t even imagine how it would be to be married, buy a house, settle down, have kids! And to make it worse, Blink 182 had convinced me that no likes you when you’re 23. Oh, the anxiety!

marriage7 Up

I know I shouldn’t be freaking out, I’m still young. But by 30 I want to have those things: a career, a family, a home. I think it’s a realistic goal. I don’t want to set unrealistic parameters for myself – who knows how things will turn out. I just want something to shoot towards, to give me direction. Something to motivate me to keep striving. Why shouldn’t my life be like that at 30? Seven years is a long time.

7 Down

Seven years ago I was 16 years old. I had just started Year 11 and was beginning to think about university. I was going to study Human Movement and become a sports therapist. I was going to meet the love of my life very soon – a year or two tops – and (as earlier established) be married by 23. I was naïve. I was (fairly) innocent. I was young. Geez, I was still a virgin.

Then life happened. I fell in love, had my heart broken, broke some hearts myself, realised love wasn’t quite so simple. There was sex, drugs, alcohol, all-night raves. I bought a car. I crashed a car. I opted to pursue a more creative path and studied a Bachelor of Arts. I majored in Philosophy – almost as though I wanted to hurt my job prospects (I kid… kinda). All of this led me in a totally different direction to the one I’d anticipated.

In The End…

I might not be where I expected to be seven years ago, but my God I had fun along the way. I have danced all night in the rain listening to a DJ I loved; I have stayed out in the bush for days just dancing to music and hanging with my friends; I have met countless amazing people; I have made lifelong friends; I have lived in a van and out of a tent; I have partied at huge festivals; I have travelled across Australia and around the world.

After all of this, today I am living in the beautiful city of Montreal with my wonderful boyfriend. I am living a life that my 16-year-old self could never have predicted. Likewise, I cannot predict where I will be in seven more years. All I can do is set course with my goals in mind and enjoy the ride.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson



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Posted by on February 6, 2014 in Mind


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Why Alternative Views Are Met With Anger

I find it strange how whenever one deviates from the norm, people feel the need to disvalue that move. It doesn’t seem to matter in which life sector you make this move, those in the majority group you strayed from feel somehow obliged to tell you how wrong you are.


If you voice left-wing political views in a predominantly right-wing community, the masses attempt to make you see the error of your ways. If you choose to adopt the vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, meat-eaters try to devalue your dietary choices. If you decide to quit your lucrative job to pursue your dreams, others will endeavour to show you what a huge mistake you’re making. If you choose to enrol your child in an alternative school, others will all but spit on your decision.

But their arguments rarely sway you. You were raised in the majority, after all. You know their side of the facts already; sometimes it’s all you have ever known. Doing something contrary to the norm requires serious courage and shows great wisdom. It means looking at both sides of the coin, really stepping into the shoes of the minority and understanding their position. It means defending your views on a regular basis.

The majority viewpoints are favoured by our education systems, our societal structure, even our everyday language. Truly assessing what you have been conditioned to believe should be celebrated. Looking at both halves of the equation before reaching an answer should be revered. Yet, doing exactly this sets you up as a target for small-minded, bigoted ignorance.

When I find myself in such confrontations I always concede the validity of others’ standpoints. I make a concerted effort to explain that I understand their point of view, but have personally looked from other perspectives and found them preferable. I do not insist that others’ adopt my views, so why am I not afforded the same courtesy?

Why? Why do people feel the need to target minority views? Why do they want to discredit all opinions other than their own? Why can’t the majority accept alternative ideologies as valid? Why am I encouraged to adopt their views?

I reach the same answer to all these questions: fear. Fear that an alternative take somehow undermines their perspective. Fear that the world around them is changing. Fear of the unknown. Fear of lacking control. Fear that the ideas which formed the foundation of their life may not be rock solid. Fear that the minority might be right.

Any argument that comes from a place of fear is not worth listening to. When I hear or read arguments of this nature, I feel sad that there isn’t enough love to overcome the fear. It’s like a child having a tantrum, unable to see the parent’s reasoning. That is, until they get tired of fighting and settle into a loving embrace, forgetting what was so important an hour ago. Maybe these people simply need comforting just like that child. They need someone to tell them: “everything is alright” and “there’s no need to be scared”. Only they haven’t gotten tired of fighting yet.


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Posted by on February 3, 2014 in Mind


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My Paradoxical Mind

(Oxford English Dictionary)
A seemingly absurd or contradictory statement or proposition which when investigated may prove to be well founded or true.


Engaging in philosophical discussions is one of my favourite past-times. After years of fencing with grand ideas and some serious introspection, it occurs to me that my deepest understandings rest firmly on my own paradoxical worldview. Paradoxes are so deeply embedded in my psyche, that I often fail to outline how the existence of contradiction doesn’t disprove my point – rather, it is an integral part of my position.

Now this is all very meta… So I’ll try to explain what I mean by way of example.

I tend to be initially attracted to idealism; lofty ideas about metaphysics and the power of the mind are a real drawcard for me. As such, I arrive at many of my ideas via introspection, meditation and general intuition. At the same time I have an inherent love of logic and reasoning, so I also need to find physical evidence that reflects my views. While it seems that intuitive ideas often cannot be explained logically, I can never quite stop trying to do so.

My brother Ben is the opposite. His views are almost always cemented in the physical world, strictly based on scientific observation and rules of logic. As you can imagine, sometimes we butt heads a lot. On the upside, this difference makes Ben my ideal verbal-sparring partner. I often run my ideas past him or imagine his rebuttals in order to analyse and strengthen my own points.

One night, Ben and I got into a heated discussion about Descartes’ classic mind/body problem*. I.e. What relationship exists between your physical body and your consciousness? Ben’s position was that there is nothing non-physical to speak of here – you are a physical entity whose thoughts and feelings are merely chemical responses. In other words, everything is physical; the physical gives rise to the mental (which is purely chemical).

I was playing the devil’s advocate – highlighting the non-physical nature of consciousness. I absolutely conceded the evidence he presented, but wanted to use the non-physical aspect as a stepping stone to reach my real conclusion: we are both a physical body and a non-physical consciousness. I believe the two are intrinsically linked – both giving rise to certain manifestations in the other.

*Side note: on this particular evening we also had the help of our cousin Michael (a psychology student) who was arguing for the scientific importance of the mind. So the argument wasn’t quite as clearcut as I’ve retold it here.

In this example, I felt there was something ineffable that connected the physical body and non-physical consciousness. For lack of another word I will call it spirit. The spirit is in the physical body, it is the life force that provides vitality; likewise, the spirit infuses the mind with thoughts and feelings. Spirit can manifest as both physical and non-physical, thus it doesn’t disvalue either the physical or the non-physical – rather it unites the two.

For every dichotomy, there is something that connects the contradictions. I recognise it as the stuff which holds together my own mind. On nearly every philosophical topic, I hold the same foundational belief. Paradoxically, I can see the validity of both opposing viewpoints; but there is something further that encompasses both.

There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain, between crying and laughter, between life and death. What I’m talking about is the undefinable something that somehow incorporates the two opposing states. I believe that is the most important thing – it is the basis of all that is.


When I first read the Tao Te Ching, I recognised my own views in it (though put far more elegantly) as the author’s description of Tao in Chapter 2:

When the world knows beauty as beauty, ugliness arises
When it knows good as good, evil arises
Thus being and non-being produce each other
Difficult and easy bring about each other
Long and short reveal each other
High and low support each other
Music and voice harmonize each other
Front and back follow each other

It is my goal in life to, somehow, build bridges between opposing world views. There can be validity to both sides but there is also connection that overrides the necessity for either faction to be more correct than the other. Intuitively I understand this, it is at the core of my values, opinions and personal philosophy; I strive to express this intuition to others.


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Posted by on January 16, 2014 in Mind


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While I majored in Philosophy at university, my favourite topic was religion. Religion is ubiquitous. It is the very foundation of so many cultures and imbues our everyday life. People live for their religion, die for it, devote their entire being to it.

Image by Matt Trostle

So I studied deism, monotheism, polytheism, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and many more -isms. No matter how many religions I studied, though, none quite fit into my worldview. That is, until I learnt about pantheism.

God = Nature

Pantheism is the belief that God and the universe are synonymous. It means God is not some separate entity living above us, apart from the world. God is the world – the majesty of mountains, the gentle cleansing of the ocean, the beauty of trees and flowers, the awe of space and the love of other humans.

Pantheists adore nature in the same way theists adore their god(s). Respect, love and effort is devoted to the universe we live in, to our planet. For these reasons, pantheistic beliefs can manifest as environmental action.


While pantheism is not for everyone, I for one find it very fitting. I feel the most in tune with my spirit when I am amongst nature or staring at the stars. Therein lies my faith, supreme love and understanding. I just didn’t know there was a word to describe my beliefs!

Pantheism has also been popular with scientists, those who find the nature of the universe highly awe-inspiring. Albert Einstein even wrote in a letter,”We followers of Spinoza see our God in the wonderful order and lawfulness of all that exists and in its soul [“Beseeltheit”] as it reveals itself in man and animal”.

This Isn’t A New Idea

Pantheism is a blanket term for many faiths. The notion has been around for thousands of years, just in various forms under various names like Taoism and Paganism.


Taoism can be seen as pantheistic. Tao is usually translated to “way” or “path” and refers to the true flow of life. Tao is not some transcendent god, rather it is a force that underlies all life in the universe. Qi (chi) is also essential to taoism; it is the life energy within every being. Taoism’s principle text, the Tao Te Ching, says:

Humans follow the laws of Earth
Earth follows the laws of Heaven
Heaven follows the laws of Tao
Tao follows the laws of nature.

Paganism is a sort of pantheism. Pagans believe that nature is divine, though they focus much more on ritual and ceremony. Pagan faiths generally require belief in some non-physical or unseeable entities, whereas pantheism doesn’t necessarily.

Photograph by postaldude66


Posted by on December 27, 2013 in Mind


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